| “I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4. 13
" Heaven is full of answers to prayers for which no one ever bothered
to ask."
Billy Graham
How long should a good sermon
be? It should be like a woman's skirt, long enough
to cover the essentials and short enough to keep you
interested!
This is what God asks of you, only this:
That you act justly, That you love tenderly,
That you walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8
I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction
that I had nowhere else to go
Abraham Lincoln.
The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious.
It is the source of all true art and science
Albert Einstein
The Holy Rosary is the storehouse of countless blessings.
Blessed Alan de la Roche
When I was young I was sure of everything; In a few years, having been
mistaken a thousand times, I was not half so sure of most things as I
was before; At present, I am hardly sure of anything but what God has
revealed to me.
John Wesley
The proof of love is in the works. Where love exists, it works great
things. But when it ceases to act, it ceases to exist.
Pope St. Gregory the Great
At the end of our life, we shall all be judged by charity.
St. John of the Cross.
Few souls understand what God would accomplish in them if they were to
abandon themselves unreservedly to Him and if they were to allow His grace
to mould them accordingly.
St Ignatius Loyola
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“So far today, Lord, I’ve done alright. I haven’t
gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty or selfish. But I’m
just going to get out of bed, so from now on, Lord, I’ll probably
need Your help. Amen.”
As a friend was in front of me coming out of Mass one day the priest
said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend
replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Father." The
priest said, " But why I don't "see you except at Christmas
and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
A Jewish man moves into a Catholic neighbourhood. Every Friday, they
eat fish, but he barbecues steaks. The Catholics convert him and the priest
sprinkles holy water him saying, "Born a Jew -- Raised a Jew -- Now
a Catholic." But the next Friday evening, the scent of a barbecue
wafts through the neighbourhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house
to remind him of his new diet. They find him cooking a big juicy steak.
He is sprinkling water on it and saying: "Born a cow -- Raised a
cow -- Now a fish."
Jamie- God how long is a million years to you?
God- it is but a second Jamie.
Jamie- God how much is a million pounds to you?
God- it is but a penny to me.
Jamie- God can I have a penny, please? God– Just a second, Jamie!
The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older
priest for advice. The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over
your chest and rub your chin with one hand. Try saying things like, 'I
see, yes, go on, and I understand." The new priest says those things,
trying them out. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's
a little better than slapping your knee and saying, 'No way! What happened
next?”
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even
though they were a very large mammal their throat was very small. The
little girl stated Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated
a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible. The little girl
said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked,
"What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then
you ask him."
A man walked up to a Franciscan and a Jesuit and asked, "How many
novenas must you say to get a Mercedes Benz?" The Franciscan asked,
"What's a Mercedes Benz?" The Jesuit asked, "What's a novena?"
One Sunday the priest was telling the children about vestments and asked
the question, "Why do you think I wear this collar?" One bright
little lad called out straight away, "Because it kills fleas and
ticks for up to 5 months."
There was an young priest, Father Flynn,
Who was so uncommonly thin
That when he assayed
To drink lemonade
He slipped through the straw and fell in.
A nun named Louise with a lisp
Liked her sausages specially crisp,
But in trying to say
That she liked them that way
She covered the convent in mitht.
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